![\"Bridal](\"https:\/\/theweddingplanner.com.hk\/staging\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/10\/Bridal-Shower-300x200.jpg\")
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(Image credit: Leela Cyd<\/a>)<\/small><\/p>\n However, there are a lot of things that can complicate a bridal shower<\/a>. For starters, some brides don't actually want one. They might be mindful of expenses and don't want their loved ones to shell out for yet another bridal event. Or they might be weary of the spotlight. Add in difficult guests, overly fussy tea sandwiches, and forced activities, and a bridal shower can fail faster than you can say, \"crudit\u00e9s platter from Costco.\" This party is really meant to honor her. One fromage-loving bride I spoke to was surprised with a shower at a cheese-centric restaurant \u2014 despite the fact that her best friend is lactose-intolerant and gags a little at the smell of cheese. So sweet! Another bride showed up to her shower at a horse stable because her maid of honor likes to ride. Less sweet!<\/p>\n Some brides find the whole shower thing to be uncomfortable. \"I didn't want one and my mother insisted on throwing some crazy luncheon at a restaurant. I was quietly dying inside the whole time,\" one bride says. If you're still set on having a shower, see if she'd be okay with a small, gift-less gathering in someone's backyard or a trip to a BYOB painting class. Something less formal can still be nice and<\/em> appease any family members pushing for something more traditional.<\/p>\n She probably knows she's getting a shower, so it's not like you're ruining the surprise. Talk to her to see how many people and which ones she wants at the shower. Some brides were more comfortable having a tiny party for their inner circle, while others liked having a larger bash. Bridal showers<\/strong> are typically thrown two weeks to three months before the big day, but don't leave the bride-to-be on edge that whole time. Every bride I spoke to said they either knew or wish they had known when their shower was. This way, they wouldn't get caught off-guard on a sweatpants-and-bad-hair day. Note: You don't have to tell her where it will be or what to expect \u2014 just tell her the date (and make sure it works for her!).<\/p>\n Again, you don't have to tell her where the party will be or what the theme will be, but you'll know if that white maxi dress she wants to wear is a good idea or not. Let her show you her possible outfits and help her pick one to make sure she's dressed appropriately.<\/p>\n Some brides said they were super uncomfortable unwrapping all of their presents in front of their guests. Other brides just felt like it went on forever. Instead, try something called a display <\/em>bridal shower. \"You tell guests not to wrap their presents \u2014 bows and gift tags are okay! \u2014 and then everything gets put on a table for the bride to see,\" one newlywed explains. This way, everyone can walk around on their own and see the gifts. \"More time for chatting, less time being bored,\" she says.<\/p>\n No matter how funny you think it will be, do not get her anything raunchy or sexy. Even if you think she'll appreciate it, her mom and future mother-in-law are going to be there \u2014 and they might not. It's just better to play it safe and get something off her registry. If there's no registry, get pots or board games. No one is ever offended by pots or board games.<\/p>\n If the bride isn't one to get a kick out of cheesy rounds of bridal trivia or wedding dresses<\/a> made out of toilet paper, it might be best to refrain from those activities altogether.<\/p>\n \"My shower was totally awkward,\" one bride confessed. \"It was decorated<\/a> to the max, but no one really knew what to do, so we kinda just stood around the whole time.\" Think about how the party should flow. Start with cocktails and finger foods; then move on to an optional game or two in the middle; and end with dessert, tea, coffee, and goodbyes.\n<\/div>\n
\nIn a perfect world, a bridal shower<\/em> is a meaningful way to celebrate the bride, and a forum for family members, friends, and coworkers to mingle before the main event. Gifts are given to either make the lady of the hour feel pampered or to enhance her home. The food is tasteful, and planned activities (if any) are low-key and optional.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n
\nBut it doesn't have to be that way.
\nI asked dozens of brides \u2014 past and present \u2014 what they secretly yearned for and what they downright detested. Taken together, here's some sensible advice for you. If you're planning on throwing a shower for a friend or family member, be sure to heed these words.<\/p>\n1. Think about what the bride<\/em> likes.<\/strong><\/h3>\n
2. If she says she doesn't want one, she probably means it.<\/strong><\/h3>\n
<\/div>\n3. Consult the bride on the guest list.<\/strong><\/h3>\n
\nAnother key point: Make sure everyone on your guest list is actually invited to the wedding<\/a>. Otherwise, it can be mega-awkward for everyone involved. Give the bride final say on who's invited to avoid discomfort or hurt feelings.<\/p>\n4. Tell her when it's going to be.<\/strong><\/h3>\n
5. Help her pick an outfit.<\/strong><\/h3>\n
6. Consider a \"display bridal shower.\"<\/strong><\/h3>\n
<\/div>\n7. Do not get her anything raunchy!<\/strong><\/h3>\n
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<\/picture><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n(Image credit: Brian Samuels Photography<\/a>)<\/small><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n8. <\/strong>Think very hard before introducing silly games.<\/strong><\/h3>\n
9. Have a beginning, middle, and end in mind.<\/strong><\/h3>\n